Have you ever had a feeling that you have behaved for far too long? As I was walking yet again to university, to bury myself in books and research, I could feel the inner demons coming alive. In Amsterdam for the fist time in many years, the inner demons were mostly under control, due to the heavy use of various natural products that are readily available in the Netherlands. But here in Wales, I have not indulged myself at all, only the occasion mess with alcohol, but nothing major. As a good friend of mine would describe this feeling as having the damn monkey on your back, I think he knew only too well what he was talking about. The damn monkey is on my back now and its all I can think about. What does all of this say about me?
I knew the cure for this condition back in the day was to walk to a coffee shop and obey the scream of the monkey. But if I obey everytime, I would be the same as I was in Amsterdam. What that came to was something pretty scary and out of control. But at the same time, I have been looking back on this time in my life, like an old man at the end of his road dreaming of his youth. I miss being slightly out of control.
I have a feeling that as I leave for London tomorrow, I will get this monkey off my back, the old school way.
The demons have returned in full force.
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2 comments:
ah you still want to be the wild child eh ? ;)
one always seeks to relive one's glory days
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